My Grandpa Collins

On April 4th 2009, shortly after the morning session of General Conference my Grandpa, Donald Reimers Collins passed away.I was staying at my Grandpa's house for a few days, he had been sleeping more and more. Everyone watched conference in the morning so the house was very quiet and peaceful. Sometime during conference one of the hospice nurses had come by to check on him and everyone wanted to know how much time she thought he had left so they could figure out the schedule for the next week. The nurse told us that it was the beginning of the end and she thought he had a week or two. We finished conference and my Mom and Aunt Cathy went to go check on my Grandpa and make sure he was comfortable.

Cathy told us that while she sat by him she told him that it was okay for him to go with Mom (Grandma) and Chris, and to tell them that we love them. She continued to stay by him and played with Ruby for minute or two. My mom came in the room to see what Ruby was doing, and she and Cathy noticed that my Grandpa's breathing had changed, it was very shallow and labored. Cathy told us all she had told him he could go and we all knew he was going to pass quickly. His breathing was like a shallow gasp and I remember his chest wasn't rising and falling only a gasping in his neck. He held his breath longer and longer in between breaths and after 5 -10 mins. or he just stopped breathing.

We could see his heart beating in one of the arteries in his neck even after he stopped breathing. My Grandpa had a heart transplant 25 years ago. Most of my younger years I remember my Grandpa with lots of tubes, oxygen machines and him lying in bed. He had his heart transplant when I was 3 or 4 and then he became the fun Grandpa who pulled us around in a wagon attached to his riding lawn mower and bought us candy at Albertson's. We know a little about the family and the man who gave my Grandpa his heart. He was a 21 year old motorcyclist from Nevada that had a terrible accident. That family has no idea how many memories that heart gave us and the fact that their sons heart never failed, it only stopped beating from lack of oxygen.

My Memorial:

I will always remember coming to visit them at Christmas and sometime during the summer. We would watch Grandpa play with his trains, paint ceramics with Grandma, and spend time being silly kids with Chris. When I went to TTU Grandma was very proud and sent me a jacket that I never liked and I have always felt horrible for not liking it more. When I transferred to UVSC I loved it when Grandma & Grandpa would stop in Orem and spend time with me on their way up to LDS Hospital for Grandpa's check ups. I remember dinners at Applebees and watching TV or playing card games in their hotel room. When Grandpa had his hip replaced I visited them in SLC and helped drive them around and stayed at their timeshare in The Kimball. Grandpa once showed me the view he had from LDS Hospital before he had his heart transplant and that he would stare at the freeways and wonder if he would ever drive on them again. During his hip replacement I even got to be in the hospital lobby with President Monson and feel the spirit so strong that it turned my head when he walked into the room.

Grandma and I had a fun shopping day when she bought my wedding dress and took me to Rococo's for lunch and we had fancy turkey sandwiches with cranberry sauce. Grandma later threw a bridal shower for me and I was so embarrassed when she gave me lingerie and I had to hold it up for everyone to see.

When Sam and I decided to move to Cedar City I cried and cried because I didn't want to live in a small town so far away from my family but Sam tried to get me to be happy and told me my grandparents were only 45 mins. away. Some of my most memorable moment with my grandparents have been during the last 4.5 years. I only got to spend one of those years with Grandma before she passed away but during that time there where many days I would only call to tell her I was coming after I had already left so she wouldn't try to talk me out of coming due to bad weather, driving conditions or accidents she had heard of on the police scanner. On the day she passed away I was in St. George helping take care of Grandpa because he had just gotten out of the hospital. She called twice that day to see how Grandpa was doing, to make sure he went to his appointments and to thank me for helping. The last time I talked to her I remember her telling me that she loved me, which we dont say often in our family, and it really meant a lot to me. That day I answered the phone when Cathy called to say that Grandma's heart had stopped and I needed to tell Grandpa without Chris hearing, I saw the look of devastation on his face when I told him as he sat down to catch his breath. Grandpa, Chris, Porter and I raced to the hospital in the red Buick with hope that they had revived her. Chris pushed Grandpa in the wheelchair, I carried Porter and we frantically tried to find Cathy on the Cardiac floor of the hospital. I remember when the doctors came in and told us they had done everything they could but her heart had melted in their hands.

Over the next 3 years I had many opportunities to spend time with Grandpa whenever I was needed to watch him for the day. By that time he had been diagnosed with West Nile virus which causes swelling in the brain and between that and the delusional side effects of his medications not being timed exactly he told me a lot of stories. Once he thought I was a buddy of his and told me of this journal that he had with Grandma and she would say they had sex more then they did but he knew better because he would circle the day if they had sex. I have never more wanted someone to walk into the room or for me to have a reason to leave the room then during that story. Not all his days were bad though there where many times that we had normal discussions and even times when he would tell me about his amazing spiritual moments. He wasn't baptized until a few years after he and Grandma had been married and already had 3 or 4 children. He said he always prayed to know why/how people in the Book of Mormon had seen angels and then denied the gospel. His answers to those prayers and the people he has meet are truthfully hard to believe and if it weren't for him being my Grandpa I probably wouldn't believe it and would pass it off as urban legend. Even a few days before Grandpa died we all joked about the crazy things he would say but one day he woke up from a nap and told us that he had dreamed that President Hinckley had been standing next to him and President Hinckley had put his hand on Grandpa's shoulder, then he said he knew he must have been dreaming because that couldn't really happen. I feel like it really happened since it was the only time he acknowledged his distorted reality. During the last year or two gas prices have been outrageous and I regret not being able to drive to St. George more often but no matter how many things I had to do I always stopped by to see Grandpa. It is hard to accept that they are all gone but every time I go to St. George and pass the hospital, every time I drive by Albertson's, every time I hear someone talk of Ben Franklin's, every time I see Rococo's up on the hill, and every time I look out Grandma's kitchen window and see the beautiful view of the temple I remember all the good memories I have of them. I Love you Grandma & Pa & Chris too!